what a cliff hanger.

well I've been thrown through some loops let me tell you. So I'm with this amazing girl for a week, it ends abruptly, what can you do? I stay stuck on the fact I felt like someone had pulled my heart through my ass. I really really really really wanted to be with someone, I thought she would have been perfect for awhile, apparently she did not feel the same way. So, we're great friends and all, i love her, friend wise ya know. She means a lot to me because for some reason I feel like I need to make her feel better when the world is being a dick to her. I can't imagine her crying, more or less it would literally shatter my heart. OBLITERATE....my heart. I would take it on my shoulders...how could I let that happen to her ya know? so that is that story...or fragmentary gibberish.

So, Seth wants me. "So I know this is kind of sudden, but wanna go out?" WHAT???!!! Ok, so yeah we were making out hardcore, but go out? Ok, so this kid has crushed me over and over and over. I've felt nothing but pain after even thinking about this kid, and I'm supposed to comprehend the idea of "going out" with him? He's a fuckin' nut. Yes, he is incredibly good looking, but is diminishing in weight more and more everyday, losing all pigments in his skin, and his teeth are hitting the orange side of yellow. Besides that...psh. kidding. well his mind is fairly unstable as well. I need to keep HIM safe, but does he need it? YES. These thoughts have always pulled me back into his greatness. Trickery I tell ya. Who is he now? He hasn't been separated from Emily for more than 3 months, he was in love with her. She was like the best thing that ever happened to him, aside from me.

I'll be the summer fling...I can live with that. That's all I want from him anyways right? WRONG. I want love and passion and security and happiness...he is not happiness. I don't even like him, I lust over him, but that's it.

I need answers...if someone else could pop up from a magical hole in the ground, I'd appreciate it. Tell me you want me instead, save me the anguish I'm about to pursue. I'm not responsible. I could lose the v-card with him...yuh? sound like a good idea? uh huh. NO NO NO NO.

what do I want?

can I be with someone that I've spent so much time forgetting??

irk.

sho...

I have a story.

Naomi is a pansy.

Naomi expects too much from people.

Naomi thinks the best of everyone before opening her eyes to the truth.

not that some people aren't genuinely good, but they live for their needs and wants, not Naomi's.

Naomi wants udder satisfaction for a moment.

fuck this dramatic shit.

Honestly, no joke. I cannot be "normal" what the hell??

Why do I focus so intensely on one ridiculous thing??

maahhhhhh.

misquito bites.

I'm so happy I talked to Jenny last night. Truely, I feel much better. I had a run in with my dad, I thought I was going to leave his house again, I needed someone. The only person I could think of calling was Jenny. I went to sleep smiling, not caring at all about my dads ego.

There's spiders everywhere.

no joke.

I was at a movie...KUNG FU PANDA!!!

freakin' awesome.

anyways...I saw this thing come in front of my view, I thought it was maybe a fly, but it was moving so slowly in an almost downward direction.

"spider?" I thought. But by the way it was headed, I figured I was safe. It was going to land over a couple feet. But I look down at my legs and see this little black thing on my skirt. It wasn't really little. So I started moving my skirt and this thing started crawling!! oh my gawd spider on my legs!! I jump up and start brushing and batting at my legs. WTF!? how does a spider come 30 ft down from a movie theatre ceiling and land directly on my legs?? There's always spiders around me. Like right now being in the basement, spiders usually pop up, haven't seen one yet though.

I had a dream once when I slept the night at Maxey's, that spiders were trying to get us. We hid in her room but this big black one was determinded to get us. It crawled in through the crack in the door!! AAAAAHHHHH!

I like spiders...kind of. The way they look is so freaky, but the idea of them scares the shit outta me.

mabe spiders are my animal ya know? my totem?? everyone's got one. I used to think it was eagles, maybe it slightly is. Whenever I'm on my way into Duluth an eagle flies directly over my car. This has happened at least half a dozen times.

What would you call an eleven sided polygon? decagon are ten sided. dodecagons are twelve sided. what about 11??


"we added 11.

why?? is it any better than 10?

yeah, cause now it goes up to eleven. "


I could use some spinal tap.

whaaaa??

ice cream truck??

that's a little crazy for my taste.
it's coming back!!

there's never been an ice cream truck through here!!

OMG.

little pink pill

I haven't taken my medication regularly. I shouldn't blame my craziness on that but damn have I been neurotic. jeez. i just don't want to lose anyone right now, not yet. I feel so vulnerable. I want to go dancing. Now, now, I have to go now, I have to see the frozen charles now.

boyskout...thems hella tight.

if only a gigantic lawn sign would come crashing down with big bold words saying "naomi! you make me feel like I'm floating!" everything would be golden.

a world without borders is what we're told we live in, yet there's a stop sign on every corner.

interviews

A little bubblier today.

I have my Dayton, I probably have a job at Kohl's, I'm realizing I have different goals and outlooks on things. I want to travel and move constantly...how Sagittarius of me. School next year will be totally different. I'll be more involved and have a job with the school. I would just like to meet someone, be with someone. It'll happen, as long as I don't look. Usually that's how it happens for me.

Live Rocky Horror show!! Hopefully I can go this Saturday. Uberly excited.

faaaaantaaastic.

off to save the world now.

ciao

the rage starts.

I found the first message from her in my phone messages.

what a way to fall asleep...pretending nothing ever happened.

if only she was as affected by this as I am.

"soul sisters" don't crush you.

lies lies and more lies.